Note from Kerry

Hi hi!

You’re receiving this b/c you signed up for my regular newsletter. I’m an author and clinical psychologist who writes about science-based growth, burnout and prevention (born and trainined in the US, living in NZ).

This past week my life was bursting. I had long days and late nights of writing group, book club, cocktails with friends, and peer consultation group. Yes, now I’m exhausted. But I’m also pleased. Tired and satiated, because this week was like cresting a hill after a bunch of small steps.

My past week of juicy dates are the blossoms from four years of seeds planted, watered, and grown. Lots of weeds and dead things were cleared along the way. To get to this moment, I had a dozen awkward conversations, many potential friendships ebb and flow, inevitable false starts and iterative adjustment.

If growth naturally includes frustrations, how do we learn and iterate? How do we know when to pivot and when to plod on?

Quote from Kerry

Channel the lessons of Darwin. Behaviour change depends on three key skills: variation, selection and retention.

Before the week starts, set weekly goals linked to your quarterly goals.

At the end of the week, take notes then look at what you learn.

Moving forward, choose what is working (selection) and keep doing that (retention).

Make small improvements based on what you observe (variation).

On and on, over and over, till you reach your goal.

from Start Here, a practical guide for the overwhelmed, coming Nov 2025 to UK/Aus/NZ

Quote from someone else

Along those lines, think about learnings from Ventakesh Rao

“So what does the inside view of grit look like?…It simply feels like mindful learning across a series of increasingly demanding episodes that build on the same strengths…All you have to do is to look for an area in your life where a lot of rework is naturally happening, maintain an adequate density of internal referencing to your own past work in that area, and release often enough that you can forget about timing the market for your ouput.”

https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2011/08/19/the-calculus-of-grit/

Your question of the week

If Grit (single mindedness + perseverance)
predicts deliberate practice
which then predicts performance

How do you know where you are being gritty? and where you are grinding away, fruitlessly? I have some ideas but you know yourself best.

More reading if you’re interested

• https://www.wired.com/2011/03/what-is-success-true-grit/
• Of course, Angela Duckworth’s writinghttps://angeladuckworth.com/

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Ok that’s it for this week. As always, if you have questions, just reply. I’m always keen for topic suggestions to review here.

Warmly, Kerry

ps I’m doing more brief one minute advice videos on Instagram if you want to see me wear the same two shirts all week (for real).