NOTE FROM KERRY:

Kia ora e hoa! (hello my friend),

By the time you read this, I’ll be a few days into a writing retreat with the esteemed New Zealand writer, Elizabeth Knox. Here’s a few pics from my last time in Nelson so you can visualize it.

I hope your week is going well, I hope you are only dipping into the news when it feels useful. I hope you’re surrounded by words that make your heart sing and brilliant slices of nature and reminders of the our vast interconnectedness.

Baby animals = zings of joy

After my joy post from last week, our family discovered another burst of joy. First, we listened to Maria Corrales’ story of being a foster mother for orphaned baboons1.

After hearing this lovely story, we went on a Google adventure to find out more about South African primate sanctuaries, which resulted in my newest obsession: The Vervet Monkey Foundation youtube channel.

You know you want to share these cute pics with someone you love!!

Ok, brief psychologist interlude:

• watching these baby monkey videos is such a lovely reminder about temperamental differences found very early in life; some babies are bold and adventurous, some are tentative and easy to scare.

• great lessons here on scaffolded or developmental learning:

  • not expecting babies to do it all at once, instead taking them through a series of gradual changes in the environment and expectations for their independence

  • building babies’ capacity to be in bigger and bigger spaces,

  • giving babies lots of time to watch more experienced others do it first

  • while having a soothing caregiver close by who can step in to keep them safe or help them calm down when things feel overwhelming

• In my office, I’ve been doing a lot of habit formation and behavior change work recently, helping people learn new skills. A common major barrier for adults are the unhelpful expectations and beliefs like

  • I should know this already

  • Other people can do this better or faster

  • I can’t do this because I am stupid (or have poor work ethic…etc)

  • I just need to try harder

It can be so useful to not feed or chase around any of those thoughts; let the self-focused inner monologue drone on while you just sit with reality: This is hard now. It won’t be forever. I just need more practice.

Next week is time for some more raising-human-baby advice, plus me reading a picture book. As always, just email me if you have thoughts. xx Kerry