A time for breaking our hearts open
on hurting-where-we-feel as a compass toward the marrow, the vital
Dear Friends,
I’m going to tell you about my own heart break fissures this week - but first, let’s reflect on yours:
PROMPT: Think back over your last few days. Can you find a moment of emotional pain? A twinge or tug, a moment that stole your breathe and bowed your head?
What does this painful moment tell you about what you hold most dear?
What does it tell you about the values and beings and beliefs that you clutch like found sea shells, like lucky rocks, like the final safe harbour?
Steven Hayes, co-founder of ACT, reminds us, “We hurt where we feel.”
May pain always be a compass toward love.
A teacher used to say, “May this suffering serve to awaken compassion in us all.”
My recent heart-broken-open moments:
- A country ballad made new: At our kapa haka festival, I cried with joy and homesickness when a local school sang an Aotearoa version of Country Roads. I grew up among cow farms dotted with single stop light towns. Those familiar twanging chords bridged my grief of what is gone with gratitude for what I have now. Maybe we are always driving home, no matter how far we are from our place of birth.
Goodbye Andrea Gibson: Andrea Gibson, poet, beautiful soul, died this week. They were a model of living, of feeling, of putting words to pain and love and compassion and fiery spirit. They told the truths we could not name, while painting a new world of love and hope into existence, pointing and guiding us clumsy mortals.
the trauma said don’t write this poem
my bones said write the poem
other people feel this too
you stay here with me
stay here with me
from ‘the Nutritionist’ by Andea Gibson
In writing and psychology news
Kerry writing news
START HERE: A PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR THE OVERWHELMED has a cover!
omg isn’t it pretty? Shout out to designer Catherine Adam at Wonderbird and illustrator Katharine Hall.
Do you know a friend who likes free trainings? Share this post with them :-)
Kerry psychologist news
I’m offering two free trainings in August for therapists and other helpers.
Here’s what I’m offering:
Burnout & the ACT Framework 90 mins
For healthcare professionals and helpers looking for evidence-based ways to understand and address burnout in themselves and their clients.
Wise, Fierce & Tender Compassion 120 mins
Clinical tools for working with clients experiencing grief, shame, or burnout—drawn from compassion-focused, ACT, and mindfulness-based approaches.
*Both sessions will be interactive and practical, with scripts and tools you can use right away in your work. Lots more info here.*
When:
- Tuesday 5 August | 8–9:30 AM NZT (Burnout & ACT workshop)
- Friday 8 August | 8–10 AM NZT (Compassion workshop)
Register here:
- BURNOUT https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/jzh6jHrBR6yapEa_MyphMA#/registration
- COMPASSION https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/vfi1kzVTSuicYNFGV66erQ#/registration
That’s it for now. Sending lots of love, Kerry